The Basic Unit.

The family is the most basic unit of human life. Until 20 years ago the word family would have conjured up for most of us the image of a husband and wife and a number of children. Today we are very aware of the fact that families have all kinds of shapes and sizes.

Every family is sacred.

There are couples who have no children; there are lone parents with their children; couples in second relationships with children of both former relationships as well as their own; couples living together, many with children; and so on. It can be a very confusing situation for many people, as they don’t know what to think or how to handle these situations. In all of this it is so important to remember that every family combination is sacred and to be reverenced.

Family life has to be worked at.

We are more aware today of the fact that some families are functioning well and some are not. A new word that has come into our vocabulary is that of the dysfunctional family. It is true to say that every family is in some way dysfunctional in that no family is a good place to be automatically. That has to be made happen. And even with all the efforts in the world, things can still go wrong between family members because of the fragile nature of the developing human being. However there are a few things that need to be looked at in every family so that family life can be as good for everyone as possible.

FAMILY EXPERIENCES

Parents need help to develop the skills of effective parenting; young people need help in developing the gifts and talents which each one has for the health and well being of family and community; but it is in the day to day interaction between the family members that life is lived.  There are three main ways that a family can bring all of this together and build up the quality of life in their home.

1)      FAMILY MEALS: One of the features of today’s society is that people are so busy or so caught into television that they don’t eat together.  This is a great loss in building up family life.  It is vitally important that a family of every age should be able to sit down together regularly – not necessarily all the time – to share food and drink.  As Catholics we acknowledge the home as the Domestic Church.  When the family meal is being neglected in the home, the Eucharist suffers in the larger Church.  One of the very practical things that a family can do is to buy a table, if they don’t have one already, and decide how often they can all eat together.  Great things will happen if they do.

2)      FAMILY OCCASIONS: the second very important thing for any family is to have regular time to spend together enjoying each other’s company.  This could be once a week, once a month, a few times in the year.  It should be geared according to the ages of the children or young people as regards what is done during that time.  But it is a time that should be special for family bonding.  One of the greatest gifts family members can be given is that of good memories of times spent together, times of fun, and also times of being listened to and of being treasured.  It is so important to create family traditions that each one can treasure so that they learn to treasure the wonderful traditions of the larger Church and so grow in faith.

3)      FAMILY PRAYER: Thirdly, it is so important to have prayer in the home as a family.  As the Domestic Church, it seems strange in a way that many of our homes are empty of prayer together.  It is a big weakness both for family life itself and for the Church at large.  Of course it is a difficult part of family life because prayer for many people is a very personal and private thing.  But some form of regular and good prayer together is vital for the health of the family relationships.  There are many forms that this prayer can take and each family should be creative about it.  One of the best resources for this in our opinion is The Family Prayer Movement of Fr. Peter Byrne, C.Ss.R., Mount St. Alphonsus, Limerick, Ireland.  A list of their books, and of other resources, can be found by clicking on Family Prayer.  We would welcome your input on this and on the other points above, especially on resources you have found helpful in your own family life.