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We know all about each other “We talk about everything. We know all about each other.” Those are two of the most common statements made by couples, both those preparing for marriage and those already married. Of course there is a truth in the statements. Couples who spend a lot of time together do talk about a lot of things. They do get to know a great deal about each other. But if the statements are completely true they condemn marriage to be a very dull and boring existence. So much to learn Couples often make those statements as their reason for not
seeing any purpose in Marriage Preparation. Especially couples who live
together before marriage think they have nothing to learn. That is a very
big mistake. There is so much to learn about marriage itself. This
learning is both at the theoretical level of the nature of relationships,
of commitment, of communication. It also is needed at the level of
experience, the experience of others who are traveling the road of
marriage ahead of them. Marriage Preparation includes these two elements.
There
is also so much to learn about themselves and each other.
A couple’s marriage is made up primarily of two very different
people who are always changing. Unless
there is a good level of learning and understanding being developed, these
differences and changes can lead to very serious problems.
Three partner relationships As Catholics we believe that marriage is a three-partner relationship
that cannot work properly with only two. In the Scriptures we read: “God
is love. Those who live in
love live in God and God lives in them.” This presence of God in human
love is nowhere more true than in the relationship of husband and wife. God is in that relationship, not as an intrusion, but as a
presence to bring peace, and a power to stretch the love of a couple
beyond where they often feel like going. God is present in a couple’s
love to turn them constantly to one another so that they may grow in
affection for one another and in gladness for their love relationship.
This also needs to be prepared for by couples who are getting married,
especially in the Church. This wonderful truth can be a source of freedom
and joy for couples who work at developing it in their lives. It can be a
source of trouble for couples who ignore the reality of it in their lives. Preparation is very important Marriage is probably the single most important decision any person will
make in her/his life. It’s a decision that is made for happiness of
life. It can lead to that happiness but a lot depends on the way an
individual and couple approaches it. Preparation for marriage is a vitally
important part of a serious and committed approach to the future health
and well being of a couple’s love. Of course there are all kinds of
elements in this preparation. A formal course needs to be one of them. The
Catholic Church in Ireland and in other places makes this almost a
precondition for marriage in the Church. Many people think this is
unreasonable. But it is not. It is a very wise requirement that very many
couples have found the benefit of over the years. Different Kinds of Courses There are many different kinds of courses available for Marriage Preparation. We, in Love is for Life Trust, offer a weekend residential course. A list of these follows. There is a great benefit in this particular kind as a couple can dedicate a good portion of time to their relationship. ACCORD, the official body for marriage of the Irish Bishop’s Conference, run courses over a number of nights in local areas. They also run these on Friday evening and half day Saturday in local areas. FOCUS is a system of marriage preparation that can be done in small groups of couples or on a one to one with a trained facilitator. Some parishes run their own form of marriage preparation. Whatever course a couple does will be good if they go there with an openness to learning and a willingness to take part.
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LOVE
IS FOR LIFE
Our weekends
for couples preparing for marriage are all fully residential. They are
held in Esker Retreat House, Athenry, Co. Galway. |
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For
information/booking form contact: eskerret@indigo.ie |
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